Have you asked the question why?

Last week I was sharing with a colleague about certain issues that affect us as individuals and a people.I asked a simple question:Can you marry a man who is not the same tribe as you?.She paused for a while and then said,It depends on what you mean,and I thought to myself,how complex is my question that it should be depending on a presumed meaning that she thinks I have?So I rephrased my question,can you marry a man who doesn't speak your native language?.Feeling trapped,she coughed slightly in preparation for her answer which she obviously had thought of while I was rephrasing my question...Well,she began,thinking of it now,given the directness of your question which kind of makes it more serious than I have ever taken it...mhn...I may find it a little difficult.I thought so too about you,I quietly told myself.

I have found out that many people do not take a lot of things into consideration before they get married,little wonder,the high rate of divorce in our society today.Is it about the heat of the moment or the monumental heat?the initial pangs of passion or the endless bliss we all pray for.Will it be till death do us part like we recite to tie the knot or happily ever after like we all dream about?What will be the reason for anyone to want to get married and spend the rest of your life with one particular person and be queried when you attempt to spend "unnecessary" time with any other person?.Why would you want to submit to only one person when there are many men/women everywhere?Why do you want to get married and why does it have to be that particular person?Have you ever sat down to think about it?Could it be for companionship,for sex,for money,for security,for fame,sympathy,religion,tribe or even sentiments?

Life is a bundle of joy yet complex like a friend of mine would often say.However,life is what we make of it.Our everyday decisions create the pathways we walk upon in life.The road may be rough or smooth depending on how hard we have worked to clear the road.For no success comes without handwork,although handwork is no longer trendy for this generation that will rather not toil nor sweat to get the best out of life. Anyone could choose to live in a fool's paradise ,yet anyone could also choose to live in the complex reality of life and create a paradise for himself.

You could have other reasons that I did not mention here,but the truth remains that for every action we take,there is always a reason behind it,even when you have no reason,not having a reason is a reason you have chosen for your action!Believe me,whatever your reasons for getting married may be,it will ultimately define your marital relationship with your spouse! So be smart let honesty at least be at the base of the reason that will inform your action.